Monday, July 22, 2013

Never really breaking up - dating in the digital age

On exes: 

“So I tried a few different things—the best is MuteTweet, which for the most part keeps him out of my timeline.” Celia blocked him on Gchat, removed him from her Facebook feed, and installed a web-browser plug-in called Ex-Blocker, which makes sure no reference to the supplied names appears in Firefox or Chrome. For those who want to erase history, KillSwitch crawls your Facebook photos, videos, and wall posts, systematically deleting anything that mentions your ex. For those who lack willpower, Ex Lover Blocker activates a phone tree of your best friends when you call your ex. (If you try to work around it, Ex Lover Blocker resorts to public shaming on your Facebook wall.) There’s even something called Eternal Sunshine, which removes unwanted status updates from your Facebook feed.


The Czech novelist Milan Kundera coined the phrase “the lightness of being” in 1984’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being. He meant it as a counterpoint to “the heaviest of burdens,” Nietzsche’s idea of eternal return: “If every second of our lives recurs an infinite number of times, we are nailed to eternity as Jesus was nailed to the cross,” he wrote. “It is a terrifying prospect. In the world of eternal return the weight of unbearable responsibility lies heavy on every move we make.” 


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Sunday, November 4, 2012

what is wut

stream of consciousness

I'm a relator. My m.o. is to find a common denominator with whomever I'm talking to. Human connection on all levels is important to me.

I'm missing a particular person deeply tonight. I remember crossing a bridge, spending a lot of time in an unfamiliar city - getting to know a place I anticipated would be my home... at least for a while.

The weekends melt together. I don't know anymore what I desire in my true heart of hearts. I want consistency, predictability, and love.

Passion is not a consideration anymore. It only brings pain. I want an evenness in my life that I know I might never find in my work.

These are the things that occupy my mind as I inch toward the holiday season in 2012, but I'm optimistic.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Stephen Colbert on grief

PLAYBOY: They were on a commercial airliner that crashed while landing in thick fog. Your brothers were both teenagers, and your father was taking them to Connecticut to enroll them in private school. How did you make sense of their deaths?
COLBERT: Things didn’t seem that important anymore. Nothing seemed that important anymore. My mother said to me—and I think she said this to all my brothers and sisters—she urged me to look at everything in the light of eternity. In other words, it doesn’t matter what I wear. I just wear the uniform of my youth. I wear an oxford-cloth shirt and khakis. What does it matter? What does it matter what I wear?
PLAYBOY: As a 10-year-old boy who just lost his dad, that advice helped you?
COLBERT: Sure, absolutely.
PLAYBOY: It’s been almost four decades since it happened. Does the grief dissipate?
COLBERT: No. It’s not as keen. Well, it’s not as present, how about that? It’s just as keen but not as present. But it will always accept the invitation. Grief will always accept the invitation to appear. It’s got plenty of time for you.
PLAYBOY: “I’ll be here.”
COLBERT: That’s right. “I’ll be here when you need me.” The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you. You know what I mean? I’ve always liked that phrase He was visited by grief, because that’s really what it is. Grief is its own thing. It’s not like it’s in me and I’m going to deal with it. It’s a thing, and you have to be okay with its presence. If you try to ignore it, it will be like a wolf at your door.

Monday, October 15, 2012


Old biker dudes. A young pretty street walker gypsy with 'daddy issues' (I don't want to assume, but yes, that seems to be the case). A tire ode to 1990s Mariah Carey. The desert with a two lane highway! Denim & Leather & White. Spoken word about youth and freedom. All the makings of the perfect music video mash up. Seriously, for how indulgent this was, I couldn't stop watching. She has a knack for pulling out the most basic, most generic of human desires while instagraming the hell out of the image. So so glamourous. 

Psychic Sister

Wow, it's been two years since I've written in this thing...

I've been inspired lately by the women from my past - friends, acquaintances & classmates.

There's no denying concurrent invention or shared experiences, but there are certain people you meet who amaze you and surprise you in the smallest of gestures or phrases.

She lives in LA, not her body, but her mind. We are different in so many ways, not to mention we don't necessarily roll in the same social circles. Yet I feel with every post she writes, she is reaching into my head and reading my thoughts.

Yeah, I think I'll dedicate this post to her. Thanks for bringing me back to an emotional place where I'm ready - or rather, comfortable enough to talk about the stuff that drives me. My psychic sister, you're the reason I came back.